I Don't Know. You Might Check Your Connection...

"Hey, I went Saturday night and saw that movie you suggested."

"Oh, yeah? Wasn't it great?"

"Meh..."

"Wait. What do you mean, 'meh'?"

"I just didn't like it. No, I didn't just didn't like it, I thought it was the most barbaric atrocity against cinema. Awful! How can you even call yourself a thinking human and believe that to be the pinnacle of modern film making?"

"Geez . . . it was All Dogs Go To Heaven . . ."

Firstly, All Dogs Go To Heaven. I always cried when I watched it as a kid. I blubbered like deflating wet balloon at the end of Marley and Me. My god, dog movies. Where the Red Fern Grows was the culprit in my most embarrassing junior high moment. That's a tale for another post.

And now to the point. We've all been on one end or another of similar conversations. It could have been a book, TV show, ballet, musical, fried bologna sandwich, whatever. It doesn't matter. You were made to feel like shit over something you thought was amazing or you made someone else feel like shit because they clearly had shitty taste. I know I've been on both sides. So who's right?

Now, before I go further, let's also be clear about something else. Regardless of the medium, there are certainly times when things are just done poorly. Maybe the storytelling is weak, the cinematography was stagnant, or there wasn't enough ranch dressing. It happens. That's real. Also, there can never be enough ranch dressing.

As someone who went to university for theatre and television, I thought it was my honor bound duty to criticize the hell out of every stage production, film, television show, or knock-knock joke I was presented with. I fulfilled this destructive duty whole heartedly and without regard for the artist or knock-knocker. If they created a piece of shit, they needed to know exactly how shitty it really was. How else could they improve? Right? However, I eventually discovered I was no longer enjoying much of anything because I sat through it all with my arms crossed, waiting for the peasants to impress me. Miserable. With conscious effort, I began making the choice to view and avoid judgement as much as humanly possible, and discovered enjoyment for most forms of entertainment again.

But that didn't feel like enough for me. The temptation to act like judge and jury, deciding what was good or bad, worthy or unworthy, still lingered.

It wasn't until I completed The Six and sent it off into the world on its little paper legs when I finally understood what I was seeking as an audience member. Several times in posts and conversations, I told people I hoped there was a character in the novel with whom they could connect. Connect. I wanted the audience to connect to a character, or several, to the situations, the moments, the hopes, the fears, the love. I wanted them to connect to the story.

Connect.

My mom didn't connect. And that's all good. I knew she wouldn't because it wasn't written for her as an audience member. I know what sort of books my mom loves, historical fiction and such, and my friend, The Six is not her kind of read. The parts with the Shells were too brutal and I imagine the language was also off putting. And that's okay. She wasn't judging the book as good or bad, she simply wasn't connecting to it and I wasn't offended or hurt in the least. The mere fact she gave it a shot meant a lot.

Now with this lens of connection, I've started viewing my entertainment experiences in a different light. I find I appreciate the work and creativity which goes into most pieces of art, even though I may not connect to it directly. I don't necessarily love hip-hop, classical, or country music but I certainly appreciate it. I find when I step away from the judge's bench, I'm open to far more positive experiences, and when I search for points of connectivity, those positive experiences deepen in meaningfulness and tap into what I believe are an artist's truest intentions.

What's the most recent book, film, TV show, song, stage performance, or anything other moment of art you've connected to? Tell me all about it in the comments.